A week ago my boys turned 2 and 7. I cannot begin to express how shocked I am on how another birthday came by so fast. It is bittersweet and hard on my mama heart because it means 7 years ago my first born entered the world. May 25th changed my world, my heart, my life forever with Ryan...Five years later another blessing surprisingly came on the exact same day, my spoiled child Luke. I still have to remind and tell others how both my boys happen to share a birthday. Yes both were born on May 25th. And no this was not planned at all.. although both were c-section babies (you can read more about my birth story with Luke here) Luke was my Memorial Day baby and a total shock as he came two weeks early.
So last year we celebrated the boys birthday here at home and we had a small amount of friends and family join us. We kept it small but fun as my oldest picked an Avengers theme party so it all seemed to work out since Luke was just turning 1 and seriously had no say in it (funny how that worked out for Ryan) Sometimes I hear negative comments on how it must suck to share a birthday with your sibling or how it's the parents fault from taking the special day from a child. I can't help but to feel disturbed with these negative thoughts from other people.. for one- I as a mother have no control on when my child is set to arrive, it is all in god's hands and second my oldest has not once felt less love or less special for sharing this big day with his brother.
If anything I love watching their bond and love for each other grow.
This year I was eagerly looking forward to May but to be honest it turned out to be a stressful month with bad things happening one after the other so again we decided for no big party and instead decided to take out the boys for a fun family night out. We had a few of our close friends join us for a bowling night at Bowlmor Lanes and I was completely excited since it was Luke's first time bowling. He went a little crazy and wanted to go each time even when it wasn't his turn to bowl. He also had one of his first of many more to come- tantrums because those terrible 2's are coming hard. I think it was the perfect setting for my wild child that helped me not have a breakdown moment (at least not a visible one) with a crying toddler. Between the arcade games, night light lanes, and all the food coming his way he let his crazy side run wild.
With their rustic modern style and good old fashioned fun Bowlmor Lanes had music constantly playing in the background and that seemed to distract Luke a bit by putting him to dance. Not to mention the staff was so kind and attentive, checking in on us and making sure we were not missing anything.The older kids had a blast as they bowled and snacked on the food Bowlmor provided us. So many choices but I think the cookie cake took the win for us all!
And can't forget to share this great deal going on right now Bowlmor is offering summer season passes where you get to bowl 3 free games everyday. For a small gathering with friends it was a fun stress-free night. I didn't have to worry about decorating, crafting, planning, nor cleaning up. Celebrating my boys with the people we love was the highlight of this month.
Mother's Day is this weekend and this will be another year I get to collect beautiful drawings along with a thoughtful card. To some it's an ordinary day but I see it as an opportunity to show our mother how important she is to us.
A day where we show extra love and appreciation to our beloved mothers - because they are the heart and home of our family.
This is a day to give ourselves some grace, a day to receive a big warm hug for all that we have accomplished as a woman, for the lessons and values we keep passing on to our children, for the inner strength we get to endure all the heartaches and hardships life throws at us. It is a day to pat ourselves on the back and say "I GOT THIS" simply because of everything that we do and everything we will continue to do for our children.
Not until becoming a mother I learn to appreciate my own mother so much more. It is like everything I put her through finally hit me and I realized this woman would do this all again for me...
why? because I am worth it to her.
Just like my children are worth it to me.
Because a mother's love is that powerful
Here are some things moms experienced and go through everyday but many might not understand...unless you are a mom
Being a mom is hard. I know many say it but this is true- it really is the hardest job anyone can do. A job I took on as a young adult and it has push me through my very own limits and made me question myself and there has been multiple times I have doubted myself as a mother. They'll be times where you cry, you loose your sanity, you fail.. but you try again and you learn. And sometimes you just have to ask for help, and that is okay. I have found out that saying "yes" when family offers help is the best thing we can do as mothers. After all it takes a village.
There are times you feel the mom guilt. Some wonder and ask how you can find the balance when having more than one child. My answer to this is you just go with the flow. I don't think there is no way to find the perfect "balance". Many fear that they will lack showing love to their children equally if they have multiple children. I feel you can give a child love in the smallest ways. One on one time running errands, reading together, cooking in the kitchen, movie time while the baby naps or taking advantage when the oldest sibling is at school. You can always find a way for alone quality time. I may not have all the answers or be able to silence the fear that some may have in finding their balance. Truth is... there are days I feel bad that my attention is not given equally to all kids as I always intend to do but I am reminded no matter how much attention one may need they all know I love them just the same.
We struggle with our mom body. We are our own worst critic. We can put ourselves down because we are not like how we used to be (or better yet) how we would like to be. We compare our bodies to the ones who bounced right back after giving birth. We look at the ones who have no stretch marks. We look at the ones who look amazing in a bathing suit and start wondering what did we do wrong. And it sucks. But truth is we watched our bellies stretch to the point of no return. We watched our body change and felt our body ache in places we never knew we could. But remember this body carried and nurtured a baby for nine months. This body created life.
The days feel long, the nights feel short. These feelings only occur when you are facing a bad day. It is natural, we are human after all. There are just days that don't end soon enough, that you are just staring out the door waiting for your spouse to come home and save you from drowning in sorrow because your kids refused to listen to you and you just cannot take it anymore. You don't have the patience anymore and it makes you wonder are you crazy or are they. But the thing is.. every mother out there has felt it too.
"There's no one right way to be a mom, there are moments where it's flawless. Other days that are chaotic, some days we are given all the patience and other days there's zero patience. We will make mistakes, there will be days we will wish for them back. But our journey is not to be perfect because motherhood is all about growing. Half the journey is learning together and simply just loving hard- loving with every ounce of us. And in the end that's all we could wish for, a perfectly imperfect love."
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms, keep on loving hard!
Because Mom is where Home is for us all.
